Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Neighborhood WatchLESS

I just read that in Pasadena, California, folks are on the streets, worried about unprecedented levels of crime, and they are urging greater participation in Neighborhood Watches.  I'm surprised that Neighborhood Watch is even legal, after the Gates-Crowley affair.

I suspect that nowadays, people will be very careful about describing suspects, much less reporting incidents.  We can't say they're Black, or Hispanic, because this is racial profiling, and probably a crime to even suspect a nonWhite is engaging in anything.  So 911 calls will probably be something along the order of

They are using crowbar on the front door--but they may live there and just be having a hard time with the lock (like the Harvard fellow who was breaking the lock off his own bicycle; Harvard police were investigated for having the audacity to even think this was suspicious). 

One of the men seems to have a hstocking on his head, but I should not have said that, or even noticed it, because he may be sensitive to moonlight, or ultra shy, like Michael Jackson--or it may be a fetish (which I of course would not even notice, much less discuss, lest I have a hate crime accusation level against me).

"You know what?  On second thought, I think 911 should disregard my Neighborhood Watch call, because it is probably nothing, and even if it is, it was wrong of me to suspect someone of doing something beforehand, regardless of the circumstances.  And even if they are burglars, who am I to judge their motives?  They may have had legitimate reasons for burglary--revenge because of past injustices against their African slave ancestors, their American Indian relatives on reservations, their Hispanic relatives, or Irish ancestors who were mistreated when they fled to America to escape the potato famine.  (With Italian and Chinese ancestors, I have plenty of excuses of my own!).

"So please, 911, disregard this call.  Whatever you do, don't insult the suspicious person breaking into my neighbor's house by  showing up and causing them embarrassment.   And while we're at it, let us disband Neighborhood Watch, as it violates too many people's rights. 

Or let us rename it Neighborhood Watchless.

Fr. Lingyu Fu
Illuminus Theo
Naples, Italy